Sunday, 20 October 2013

The Post Where We All Talk About Poop

Oh. *coughs* Uh, hi! We're posting these Sunday nights now, right? I'm pretty sure I heard that somewhere.

Sorry for pulling a Chip, you guys. It's (two days past) Corrections time again! Thanks, Alley, for bringing us together, because I'm pretty sure we're going to need the support for this section. There are spoilers, herein, if such a book can be spoiled.

My first note is "Gary seems super fun."
As he entered the darkroom, he estimated that his levels of Neurofactor 3 (i.e., serotonin: a very, very important factor) were posting seven-day or even thirty-day highs, that his Factor 2 and Factor 7 levels were likewise outperforming expectations, and that his Factor 1 had rebounded from an early-morning slump related to the glass of Armagnac he'd drunk at bedtime.
Too bored to properly throw myself down the stairs

Does not make for stimulating narration.

I'm still loving Denise because she gave Jonah Prince Caspian. And Jonah makes me want to WEEP because he is clearly the best person in the whole of the extended family, and they are going to ruin him. In the meantime, little buddy, keep being right about which Narnia book is the best.


Franzen really digs in on the "look at all the reasons I named this book as such" in this section, the first instance I noticed being a kind of theme for the book: "But his entire life was set up as a correction of his father's life." And then there's Correcktall and other stuff and THERE'S NO TIME TO LIST THEM. DID I MENTION HOW LATE THIS POST IS?

Gary is dealing with some weeeird investor guys. Pudge Portleigh? Really? Why not just Fatty McFatfat? Daffy? Dick Hevy? 

It's probably a metaphor for something, but I don't know what.
(Different scene. Doesn't matter.)

Then other stuff and then, let's get to why we're really here: Alfred, on the cruise, hallucinating a talking, taunting turd. 

One of the few things in this world that warrants
the legendary quadruple take.

So, OK, do we want to analyze this scene and work out why Alfred's hallucination would take the form of a poop (his strong needs for order and propriety raging against his gradual yet complete loss of control - over his children, his wife, his body), or do we wanna just throw a 

Franzen's way?

The fuck bro? The fuck bro.

Also I guess maybe Alfred's dead now. SEE YOU NEXT FRIDAY, FOLKS! 


  1. You win all the points for that Patrick Stewart GIF.

    My heart goes out for little Jonah. In the Gary/Caroline sections I feel like it's like a reverse Roald Dahl, and instead of getting a story about a child is a difficult home finding himself on an amazing adventure, we get talking crap and arguments over back pain and Christmas decorations.

    1. Oh, Patrick Stewart. We love you forever.

      Yes to the reverse Roald Dah. What the crap. We don't even get any awesome Reepicheep insight or quotes or ANYTHING from Jonah, and that would be great.

  2. Thank goodness I wasn't the only one bored and eye-rolly at Gary's stupid Neurofactors. NO ONE INNER MONOLOGUES LIKE THAT. And I don't care about his stupid serotonin levels. Blah.

    I didn't even catch the horrible-ness of the Pudge name. That's so awful. Oh my god this book. And we are absolutely going with The Fuck Bro on the talking poo. I don't care what the hell the meaning and symbolism is behind it, it's TALKING POOP.

    At least we're all having fun being mind-boggled by this book.

    1. I am SUPER GLAD we're all reading it together. Because everything taken together, I'm really enjoying it. Book on its own, talking poop.

  3. You are so right about tiny Jonah. MAYBE BOOKS WILL SAVE HIM. I will leave this book pretending that they will.

    Fuck that fucking talking poo because that shit is ridiculous (See what I did there?)

    1. Books will absolutely save him. He's so introspective, I think he'll develop to realize the people around him are nuts and he doesn't have to be like that. And NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE.

  4. You are the gif champion. That first dog gif is amazing, and then there's Stewart, and Martin Freeman and I can't even. You win.

    Poor Jonah. I sort of want something to happen so he can go off and be raised by non-terrible people. Maybe even just Gary. I think Gary could be a good dad to Jonah if Caroline isn't there getting her terrible all over everything. I mean, Gary kinda sucks too but I think he could pull through.

    I am just throwing a Martin Freeman at Franzen for the whole poo stuff cos seriously now?

    1. That is so sad -- I bet you're right, that Gary could be a good dad if he weren't so fucused on one-upping Caroline. Barf. Barf my face off.

      Just throwing a Martin Freeman of any sort at any situation seems like it'd be the right move.

  5. Jonah is legitimately the only proven non-asshole in the book, thus far. Which is doubly depressing because you're right -- he will soon be ruined by his terrible family. ALSO he is under constant surveillance from his creeper brother.


    1. WHAT THE HELL CAROLINE. WHY WOULD YOU GET BEHIND THAT HOBBY. Dive into the books, sweet Jonah! Further up and further in!


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